Saturday, November 9, 2013

Our Adoption Story: Telling The Kids

We are still moving along in the adoption process.  Because everything takes so loooooong and we really didn't know for sure who we were going to adopt, we decided to hold off a while on telling the kids.  But Ryan and I had to be fingerprinted at the police station so we could have FBI background checks done.  I was able to go with just our youngest, Mason, while all of the other kids were in school, but in a time crunch, Ryan ended up having to take the three older kids with him because it was on the way to his parent's Halloween party and I was home with a throwing up Mason.  The police officer doing Ryan's prints saw on the paperwork that the prints were for an adoption.  He said something like, "Adoption, huh?" and Ryan tried to quickly signal to him to shut it.  But Maddie's ears are always listening and she started asking questions.  You would think that her Dad getting fingerprinted at a police station might have had her wondering too.  When Ryan got back to the car, he called me and told me what had happened and asked if he should just tell the kids.  I told him he had to wait.  I wanted to be there!  So he told Maddie that they would talk about it later, and it wasn't until the next day that we had time to sit down with the kids to tell them we are adopting. 

9 year old Maddie's reaction:
"YES!" -fist pumps-  Maddie couldn't be happier.  She's made it no secret that she would love for me to have a dozen kids.  Then she let it spill that she knew she had heard the police officer say "adoption", but she wasn't sure if we were adopting someone, or putting one of our kids up for adoption.  What?!  The poor kid had that on her mind for a whole day. 

7 year old Kaitlyn's reaction: 
Tears.  Not happy ones.  I was really surprised by Kate's reaction.  I thought she would be as thrilled as Maddie.  She too has requested more siblings.  Every time the girls have asked if we could have another baby, I've told them, "Nope, our family is perfect the way it is".  I had probably said it enough times that Kaitlyn was confused by my sudden reversal.   Also, I think she was in shock.  And honestly, she had just slept over at Grandma and Grandpa's house with her cousins and was extra tired.  Really bad timing on our part.  Since then, Kaitlyn has told me that she's okay with the adoption, still not excited, but okay.

5 year old Enoch's reaction: 
Huge smiles.  He was really, really happy. 

3 year old Mason's reaction:
...okay Mason didn't have a reaction.  He doesn't comprehend what's going on and that he will soon be loosing his position as baby of the family.  If he did understand, he might have reacted a little bit more like Kaitlyn.  He loves his being the baby.

I wish we hadn't felt so rushed to tell the kids so we could have told them in a better way, but I'm glad they know now.  It gives us something to look forward to together.  The kids all pray that the adoption can work out and we can find the child that is supposed to be a part of our family.  And speaking of "that child"... we found out that it won't be Luo.  He was matched with another family.  Then we were told that the family might not move forward...  and then we were told it's a done deal.  It has been a bit of a roller coaster, but we've felt at peace the entire time that whatever happens, the right child will be coming home with us.

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